LONG DISTANCE Gay Couple Fights Over 
SUSPICION of BETRAYAL

*** Relationship Case related to "Insecure Attachment"

What is going on between the couple? 

NV’s long-distance relationship has been unstable due to his insecurity.

His partner (MK) is a party-goer and loves parties.

And every time MK shares his party moments, NV will question him.

Accusing MK of having a tendency for sexual fun with other guys when drunk.

There is always a fight whenever they touch the party topic over the phone or via video call.

What have we found from our investigation? 

1. Why NV is insecure in his relationship? 

a) NV’s previous partner was a playboy.

b) His past relationship has caused him only pain and fear. 

c) Because of that, he is always on guard against his partner's potential betrayal.

2. Why NV is accusing MK without any valid proof?

a) NV is unable to see the whole situation as he is far away.

b) So, he projects what had happened and applies it to the current situation.

c) Thus, NV only sees one side of the coin (potential threat) while ignoring the possibility of another side (potential benefit).

d) To a point where NV has failed to notice that MK and his ex are 2 different people. 

3. Why NV is not convinced even though MK has said he isn't that kind of person? 

a) NV still wants a relationship, but he has lost trust in it.

b) He wants to make sure that his partner is not cheating behind his back. 

c) The more he couldn’t see, the more curious he gets.

d) While MK is enjoying his talks the whole time, NV’s unsettled feeling has shifted his focus on potential faults.

e) Overthinking what could happen if MK gets drunk.

f) Till NV keeps questioning MK just to make himself feel safe.

g) As a result, NV's insecurity is seen as excessive control by MK. 

h) The fight is inevitable. 

4. What is it that NV doesn't realize? 

a) Sensibly, MK will not share his party moments with NV if he is doing something wrong.

b) When MK shares his happy moments, it means MK trusts NV to share his fun time story.

c) The moment NV questions MK, NV indirectly pushes away what MK enjoys most.

d) This will make MK pulls away from NV if NV keeps questioning MK out of his suspicion continuously.

What does NV do differently onwards? And the results of his change?

a) NV shifts his focus to himself by doing what he enjoys most.  

Results: 

i. He slowly pursues the things he was unable to complete previously. 

ii. His negative perception towards MK gets lesser. 

iii. He feels more in control of the life he has with MK. 

b) NV starts to share his happy moments when MK shares his.

Results: 

i. MK starts to talk more often to NV. 

ii. Their fight is reduced tremendously. 

iii. MK even shares more with NV than he used to. 

c) NV redirects his insecurity to himself and is more open about it to MK whenever he feels insecure. 

Results:

i. Instead of "Anything happened when you said you were drunk last night at the party? Who knows you might mingle with someone there?", NV changes his way of dealing to "I really feel insecure when you said you were drunk at the party last night. That you might mingle with someone".

ii. MK no longer feels offended towards NV for trying to question him.

iii. NV's approach is making MK more willing to talk over and makes things clear with him.

iv. NV's urge to check MK's phone and his every action is diminished.

The Reaction Chain of the Couple's Insecurity

a) A healthy relationship rubber band is to be able to stretch and contract back.

b) NV's suspicion and actions are stretching his relationship rubber band further and further away. 

c) If NV is still unable to let go of his suspicion towards his partner, guess what will happen to his relationship rubber band?

Short Video: 3 Simple Steps to Turn Your INSECURE Lover Into a STRONG SUPPORTIVE Partner 

Looking at other Happy Couples, are you in SILENT PAIN?

You don't have to bury deep in your heart and keep it hidden.

WHY? 

Because the PAIN will NOT go anywhere unless you do something about it.

If you have anything you really want to say, share, state, ask or draw (either good or bad), the LINKS below are for you to make full use of.

Besides, it's our job to INVESTIGATE people's relationship problems and help them to LOOK BEYOND, DECIDE BETTER, & PROCEED FURTHER.

We do this because ....

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